Sunday, March 27, 2016

I don't lose. I win or I learn.

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,
Someone told me to write you for help. Every day after school I go to the homework club. I walk to the homework club van with my jacket over my head so these two kids won’t see me.

These two kids (a boy and girl) bully everyone at my school. I know if they see me they will spread rumors to the other students that I am a loser and I need help with my homework.

I see how mean they are to others and I’m afraid of them being mean to me. Please can you give me some advice?

Jacket Girl

Dear Jacket Girl,

We do understand your fears! Bullies do exist and can make your life miserable because the bullies don’t have any other way to feel important. The bullies are the ones who have low self-worth and esteem issues.

You need to congratulate yourself for wanting to learn and being courageous enough to get help! You are not a loser. You can become the best example to others who need help with homework. Getting help with your homework makes you the smartest of your peers.

Seven Smart Steps to stop hiding from bullies:

• Take off extra clothing or put your coat on (if it’s cold).

• Take a shower every morning and look your best, then forget about your looks.

• Stand up tall and straight (this takes practice) - it’s your #1 defense.

• Look your bullies directly in the eyes, not with fear and not with anger.

• Don’t engage in conversations with them … ever.

• Tell an adult until an adult does something to stop them – this is an adult’s job!

• Go with other “smart” kids who have the courage to get help with their homework.

Every smart student, college graduate, employee, boss, entertainer, and every person who allows others to coach them, instruct them, and help them, will be the leaders of our world. That’s a promise (and we don’t make light of promises) we make to you.

Now promise yourself that you follow these steps each and every single day. They will not make you a victim. Write these words and post it where you may see it every day:

“I am courageous because I know I need help. I don’t lose. I win or I learn.”
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

A follow-up:

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

At school, someone, even my close friends, will show me porn, in my face. When I’m standing with my friends, they think it’s funny to show porn on their phones at school. They laugh at it and make jokes about it. They tell everyone what they saw – like they’re proud of it. I’m in eighth grade. I don’t know what to do.

Porn at School

Dear School,

In a calm and confident manner, tell them to “Stop it.” Don’t defend or explain your stand. If they say something back to you, like, “It’s not a big deal,” just keep saying quietly, “Stop it.”

93 percent of boys and 63 percent of girls see pornographic images before age 18. Those images are imprinted in their minds.

We wish all schools would ban cell phones at school.

 If kids couldn’t carry phones at school, teachers couldn’t ask students to look information up on their phones at school.

How does that impact a student who can’t afford a phone or doesn’t have a cool phone?

We need to support teacher-supervised computers at schools. No more personal cell phones. If an emergency happens, teachers have cell phones and the schools have emergency procedures in place.

Schools, are you listening?

I am available to speak at schools. Please contact me.

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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