Sunday, January 17, 2016

Teen abstinence is difficult!



Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

My high school has about 2,000 kids in it. I swear, I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have sex! I have everyone up in my face about it too. I'm made fun of and kids throw porn from their phones into my face just to get a reaction.

It's not like I run around telling everyone but I told one of my friends, who goes to church with me, that I was so happy that we both believe the same things like waiting until we get married to have sex.

My friend got kind of weird about it and started saying I was being really self-righteous about it and it was making her mad. I have no idea what she's talking about.

Yesterday I heard my friend talking to another girl and she said something like, "Well ... we didn't actually DO IT" and the other girl said something about doing almost everything is the same as doing it. Then I walked up and they both stopped talking.

I feel like I'm an outsider and alone. I don't know if I should tell her what I heard and get it over with or what?

Signed,
Waiting Until Married


Dear Waiting,


You are not alone; however, you are in a small minority group:

1. About 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex.

2. Waiting to get married and then have sex may seem like a small number, but that's 10 million Americans.

3. Teens with a religious organizations cause the numbers to go up to 20 percent.

4. More women wait than men, but men do wait with a 60-40 % ratio.


You've made a good decision because "waiters" don't have to worry about pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, betrayal (which is what happens in 70 percent of our letters that are about bullying), emotional pain, or a drop in how you feel about yourself.

The fact that you made a commitment ahead of time is the best way to become a "waiter."

Since you've made up your mind, you can be a good friend by saying something like this, "I overheard you talking about having some kind of sexual relationship with someone. It's not my business, but I can listen to you if you want that."

Let her know that you will not gossip or become involved with those that may gossip about her.

You really aren't sure what you heard and you may be very wrong. Try to never assume stories without direct information from the person involved.

Be careful of being self-righteous (even if you don't think you are being that way). You can be happy about your choices without judging others. You don't need to explain, defend, or get mad about those that are making fun of you.

Walk tall, be confident, look people in the eye and be your best sweet and loving self that you are.

Listen, listen, listen. That's how you may help.


Signed,
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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