Sunday, December 6, 2015

Why are men the enemy?

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

My dad is not an idiot, clueless, class-less, childish, immature, bungling, sex-obsessed, hopeless, selfish and uncaring man.

My mom is usually a wonderful mom, but, she and my sister laugh at all kinds of TV shows, You Tubes, and commercials that portray men as clumsy, stupid oafs—you know what I mean. Why do they do this?

I’m a guy who is a senior in high school. I’ve been attending college for two years. I’m on the dean’s list, I’m a youth leader at my church, I help in the house and the do yard-work, I volunteer for a charity, play five musical instruments, have a seriously challenging part-time job and I have played many sports.

You know why I am a guy with character, values, goals, talents and the Lord in my life? Because of my amazingly loving and caring dad! My dad doesn’t drink, doesn’t have affairs, and tries hard to be with all of us at dinner time. If my mom’s home late from work, he helps start dinner. He always kisses her when she gets home. 

Why are girls so sexist now?! If I did any of this, and if I said anything like this about girls, I’d be in trouble at school and with my mom … so this sucks!

Why are guys the joke of the world today?

Why is this all right?

Dear Why,

We have not one good reason why your mom and sister find it funny to degrade men. This has certainly become common over the past decades.  It’s not okay; however, it’s not about you!

Do not worry about what your sister and mom do to degrade, dismiss, and devalue men or anyone else. Their “why” isn’t important for you to try to figure out. Don’t waste your precious time, energy and soul on others (even family members) and why they behave poorly. Just love them and set the same good example your dad does and be happy. Your joy could even  turn them around to a realization that your happiness brings you peace and hopefully they will hunger for the journey you must embark upon.
Others are trying to define you without your consent. Don’t allow it to occupy your mental space. Every morning, get up and spring into action. Don’t define yourself from the outside in but rather, the inside out! Be the gentleman you already are!          

Unfortunately, our culture and current society is conducting itself without dignity, respect and civility, especially towards boys, husbands and men in general.  (And you’re right: women would never tolerate being portrayed the same way.) We need to find the good in others and similarities in each other. We need loving, giving and the generosity of hearts, like you have, to help others. Service small and big, gratitude, and forgiveness need to be your landing mark all the time.

You don’t have time to misuse worrying about the behavior of your sister and mom.

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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