Sunday, August 9, 2015

Was I raped?

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,                                           
 I was just raped (I think) by my brother’s best friend since second grade. They are in high school now and I’m in 8th grade. I had a crush on him for a long time. My whole family knows about my crush. I am shocked, hurt and I don’t know what to do.  I’m afraid my mom will find out and not believe me.

I was wearing sweatpants and a razor-back top from working out. He snapped my top from the back and I turned around and he said, “So you think you’re hot huh?” Then he turned me around and pushed me on my bathroom floor. He held my head down so I couldn’t see him and he pulled my sweat pants down and my underwear.

I was crying and my face was all red when I got up. I was disgusted by what he did to me but he did not force his way into me. So I don’t know if that’s rape or not. He said, “If you say anything, I’ll just say you wanted it.” He threw a towel over me and left.

It happened really fast. Like three minutes or something. I stayed in my bathroom and took a really long shower. I didn’t come out of my room until I knew he was gone. The guy acted like nothing happened and went back into our family room with my brother.

My mom made me take a self-defense class a year ago so I can protect myself. I was really confident but now I feel gross and embarrassed.

I feel like it’s my fault because I was into him. I’ve never even been kissed or anything.

Dear Young Lady,
 YOU did nothing to deserve being sexually assaulted. You have the right and obligation to advocate for yourself. You have been violated. Tell your parents and ask that they help by calling police. They can get you professional help to realize you have rights and can reclaim your confidence and voice. You have no blame in this situation. You are the victim of a crime.

Sexual assault means any unwanted or forced sexual activity done to you which includes molestation, rape, incest, and sexual abuse. You were sexually assaulted which included threats and fear tactics. 
In most states, rape means a specific type of sexual assault by manipulation, coercion, or force. However, you need a lawyer and the police to help you and your family know what exact crimes were committed and how to pursue the attacker.
We do know that your attacker committed a crime of violence, not passion. He used sex as his weapon to overpower you and degrade you.

Your voice needs to be heard so you can regain your confidence, self-love instead of loathing, and leadership. If you believe in God, pray for his help in comforting you and in finding a good therapist to help you.

Let the truth come out and let the consequences be on him and not you. Break through your fear because you will not only significantly help yourself but many others who have been sexually assaulted.
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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