Sunday, August 30, 2015

My brother is molesting me

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,                                           

I’m 12 years old and my brother is 16. He started touching me when I was like five. Now he’s forcing me to have sex with him.

He still babysits me everyday. I told my mom I don’t need a babysitter anymore. She told me it was good for me to have a “protective brother” around me and I should be thankful. 

I told my mom when I was eight. I just told her he was just touching me. I told her it was no big deal. I don’t know why I said it’s no big deal. I hate him. He’s disgusting. I feel guilty. I wish he was dead.

My mom’s been divorced since I was a baby. She told me he was only curious about sex. She said she would have her boyfriend talk with him man-to-man. Nothing happened.

Now I am getting boobs and he’s so cruel! He also started putting me down and calling me “ugly b-----” and a slut. He pushes and yells at me. Then he acts like an angel around mom.

We have dinner together and I can hardly sit there and eat anything. My mom told me to stop being sad and eat. Then my brother said that’s why I’m so skinny. He said I was so skinny that no guy will ever want to be with me.

The next day was more porn and then more sex. I can’t stand him. I really do want him dead. I’m scared.


Brother Molester-Sister

Dear Brother Molester-Sister,

You did nothing wrong! You do not deserve this abominable molesting. It’s so wrong on so many levels.

We understand your anger, hurt, and confusion. It has to stop! Please tell your mom and if she doesn’t believe you or do anything, tell a teacher at school who is mandated to tell an adult who will take care of you. You will be able to have therapy to help you feel like the precious daughter of God that you are.

You are courageous to have told your mom once. Be courageous again. You deserve a better life. You need your brother away from you and you need healing time and space.

This is, unfortunately, more common than most think. One in every four girls will be sexually assaulted by a relative. Tell your mom that you wrote us because you are worried she won’t believe you. Tell her how he’s bribed you and threatened you and you did not deserve this.

This will be hard—we can’t tell you otherwise. Harder still would be for you to silently suffer for the rest of your life and to miss the experience of a loving, gentle and caring husband and children that will truly protect.

We are sorry this happened. You need to concentrate on using your voice and goodness to stop your brother. Many psychologists believe molesters are incurable.

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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