Sunday, August 16, 2015

Am I gay?

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,                                           

I had bad boyfriends! I have been noticing other girls, besides me, being called sluts and ho’s all the time by guys and cool girls.

Guys say, “I’m going to bang a ho tonight.” or, “She’s a good slut.” They show “Lesbos” on their porn apps. 

Girls act like they’re gay in front of guys. Guys really like it. I don’t know if the girls are actually gay or not.

Two girls in my dance class really act gay. They hang all over each other kissing and stuff. I’m friends with one of them. She said it made her feel uncomfortable that I was always gawking at her. I wasn’t staring at her, I didn’t think.

I slept over at her house once and she winked at me. It was flirty but I didn’t do anything. It felt kinda good, though, like when I’m into certain guys! What’s up with that?

Then I thought maybe I was starring at her, but everyone looks at her. She’s the hottest girl at school. Guys always act like they want her.

She used to be with the cool people at school and had a boyfriend. He cheated on her so I guess that’s why she’s a lesbo.

I don’t know. I’m starting to think I’m gay because I think about this all the time. Plus a teacher said 15 % of women are gay now. Maybe I am.

Also, guys are kind-of creeping me out lately. I don’t trust them.

Am I Gay?

Dear Am I Gay?

You are seemingly caught in a cultural trend. This trend does not value or respect women as real human beings. This trend encourages all types of sex with anyone at any time. This trend has boys and girls with pornographic applications on their phones showing shameful, hostile, and often, violent images of pornography objectifying men and women.

This trend also doesn’t appreciate and esteem women or men for wanting and waiting for true love and marriage. This trend is not a healthy one that reveres compassionate, honorable, and spiritual relationships.

Instead, this trend is self-centered on pseudo-people images. It values narcissism and being “cool.” However, YOU can help change this fashion.

It is not acceptable for our culture to treat sex with such casual and flippant regard whether it’s heterosexual or not.

The report you mentioned is from a psychology magazine which states that women are now 15% lesbian or bi-sexual. It’s a good idea to verify more sources for statistics than one.

In any case, reports don’t matter in YOUR choices about your definition of YOU! A trendy statistic may cause controversy and controversy sells magazines.

Being gay is a fad, to some, in our current society. Fads aren’t a best practice in making choices. Also, negative experiences with guys don’t equate to being gay or not.

The fact that you recognize attractive people does not define your sexuality. 

We encourage you to be true to yourself. Keep looking for maturity, respectfulness, worthiness, and goodness in a true and mutually loving relationship. Be patient with yourself and others. Clarity will come!

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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