Saturday, September 27, 2014

Gotta Change 3.24.14

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

No one likes me. No one cares about me. No one sits with me at lunch. I hear other girls whispering behind my back and I cry every night. The boys in one of my classes have tripped me, laughed at me and called me horrible names.  I get straight A’s and I play the flute.

I don’t care about these things anymore. I have tried to change. I lost weight, I got my long hair cut in a cool style and I colored it. My mom and dad paid a lot of money for my glasses. They got me cool clothes. It doesn’t matter

Signed,
Gotta Change


Dear Gotta Change,

You do not need to change who you are, you need to define yourself! You are talented and intelligent and caring!
If you define yourself, you will become less vulnerable to bullying. Define who you are and you will have more confidence. When you feel well enough about yourself, then you may forget about yourself. When you forget about yourself, you will participate in life and focus on the needs of others and how you may help them.

What does that mean?

When you know who you are, then you don’t have negative “self-talk” which stops you from helping others. Helping others will actually help take away your pain.

How do you help others?

Start by writing down the three things you said you are good at:

1. I am good at playing the flute.

2. I am good at studying and doing well in school.

3. I care about others.

Now tell how you can help others with the things you are good at:

1. I am good at playing the flute.

2. I am good at studying and doing well in school.

3. I care about others.

You do not need to REPLACE the “cool attributes” about yourself (talents, intelligence, and caring about others) with “cool things” (Hair styles, clothes, glasses). Those “cool things” may be good ADDITIONS to defining yourself, but not replacements.  Don’t be a people-pleaser, be a God-pleaser by following our Triangle-of-Triumph:  Go from Victim-to-Survivor-to-Leader! We’re proud of you for caring. You can do this and be happy and confident and less vulnerable to bullying.

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri




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