Saturday, June 28, 2014

That Was So Yesterday! 12.23.13

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

My so-called best friend just posted a picture of us (on Facebook) in bathing suits from last year when I weighed about thirty pounds more.

I worked hard all last year to lose the weight. I’m a freshman in High School with her and in a lot of school activities with her. I asked her to take it down and she said, “You should be proud you lost weight, don’t worry about it. You’re always so insecure”.

I told my mom and she said just ignore it.

Now I am just feeling so alone.

Signed,

That was so yesterday!

Dear That was so yesterday,

The good news is that you feel good about yourself and your accomplishment. The bad news is that she cyber-bullied you and emotionally manipulated you in order to make her own self feel powerful and better than you.

She has not learned the following lesson yet: Compare yourself only to yourself. STOP THE GOSSIP by not talking to her or others about what she did and talk to your clergy person, therapist, or your school counselor and ask for help.

Stop social networking. I am not a fan of social networking too many opportunities for “subtle” bullying. I advise everyone to not ever post a picture of someone else without permission from that person. YOU ARE ENTITLED to PRIVACY and to be respected for some good changes you make AND YOU ARE ALLOWED to make changes without others gossiping about your past. POSTINGS ARE PERMANENT and can be poisonous if you let them.

Give yourself a timed pity-party (cry into your pillow) and then try to forgive her (which doesn’t mean you should hang out with her anymore as she isn’t your friend right now). Stay living in the present and look forward to the future.

Signed,

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

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