Saturday, June 28, 2014

Pretty Pink Bra 1.27.14

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

My boyfriend and I have only kissed twice, but he asked me to send him pictures of myself in a bathing suit. So I sent him a picture of myself in a pretty pink bra which actually covers more of me than my bathing suit.

His mom is really strict and grounded him from ever seeing me again. Then his mom came over and told my parents in front of my nosy cousin. My parents just told me not to ever do it again. But my cousins and all of her friends and my friends aren’t talking to me.

My boyfriend won’t return my calls either. What is the big deal? Should I break up with him before he breaks up with me???


Pretty Pink Bra

Dear Pretty Pink Bra,

This is not a “boyfriend”; it is a boy who wants to make you into a thing, or an object. You become a victim when you comply.

The big deal for you is to survive and thrive as a leader through the three P’s of self worth:?

How you dress and how much of yourself you choose to show, or not show to others, is a mirror of what you think about your worth.  Modesty, in your speech, dress, and behavior may define you as someone who is elegant and ladylike.

Define yourself as a smart, talented and beautiful girl – inside and out. Do not allow anyone else to objectify you with sexy pictures. They may escalate their requests and ask you to show more of your body.

If you send any nude pictures of yourself to anyone, this is called “sexting” and could be considered child pornography, which is breaking the law.

The following three P’s will help you to not suffer any more cyber bullying (which is the leading cause of suicide for girls), embarrassment, humiliation, being ostracized, loss of loved ones, betrayal, guilt, shame, and the demeaning act of being objectified.

The following three P’s will help you to be happy with yourself and become an excellent leader:?

        1. Privacy ~ God gave you your body to express love and intimacy in marriage. Using it as a tool to please your boyfriends will make you feel like an overexposed object, and not a girl who has a big heart, intelligence, and many internal and external talents. Keep your private underclothing to yourself. Empower yourself and help prevent victimization with privacy. Your body is a gift.

        2. Protection ~ Help protect your heart and your emotions by not over-sharing. Protect yourself from feelings of hopelessness and start defining yourself as a confident girl – a strong and capable person, free from sexual peer-pressure. Help protect yourself from the possibility of becoming a sexual assault victim by not exposing yourself and over-sharing your body with anyone. Help protect yourself from bullying, ridicule, and depression. Protect yourself by talking to a school counselor, therapist, or clergyman to help you through this learning process.

        3. Peace ~ Personal peace comes from feeling a sense of worth. Participating in school, church, and community activities will help you to feel your worth as you help others and become a leader. Peace comes from knowing you are a child of God and that He loves you and wants you to be truly happy.


Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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