Saturday, June 28, 2014

I Want A New Life 12.30.13

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

I am 12 years old and I have had a former friend telling everyone that I slept with my boyfriend (he’s not my boyfriend anymore). My sister, who is 11 years old and my former friend are best friends now and my sister will hardly speak to me. I tried telling her that I did not sleep with him. My sister and I used to share everything but now she moved into my older sister’s room instead of mine. My older sister who is almost 15 told my mom and my mom punished me and said she is going to tell my dad (They are divorced). My dad will kill me. I made my older sister tell me what everyone is saying about me.

She said they are calling me a slut. When I started crying and said I didn’t do anything, she just shrugged her shoulders and left the room. My older sister has had sex with a couple of guys, but no one in my family has said anything to her.
Why am I being picked on? Should I confront this guy and ask him why he is spreading these rumors? He has put pictures of me on his Facebook and called me a slut. I hate him. He was so mean to me. I don’t even want to live anymore and I told that to my sisters. I don’t think they care.


I Want a New Life

Dear I Want a New Life,

First-Things-First! Congratulations! You are a courageous person to not join in and surrender to the appetites of your peers. It is a strong choice for you to continue living your chosen values and for being true to them. You are loved and we applaud you for living in truth! Truth will reign in the end. Truth matters, even when it isn’t acknowledged. God knows the truth. (Write that down and tape it inside your closet). Next ~

A “new life” is your choice.

Here’s how:

Go to your school counselor, clergy, and/ or a therapist and ask for help in communicating the truth to your family. It might be the difference in your family understanding you and the truth. Maybe you can all receive help together so you won’t feel so alone. Either way, please seek someone to listen to you and your needs.

You can only change your own self and not your family or others certainly you can’t change the unfair behavior of your former boyfriend. What matters is you, ask yourself what you want to do and who you want to become. You can decide your future.

Stop defending and explaining yourself which encourages debate. However, even if you did do what they are saying, it is really as important as the fact that you have been betrayed and feel alone and your issues need to be addressed in order for you to have healthy relationships in your future.

Tell your school what this boy is saying on social media and ask for help. Ask your school to attend to him and his wrong choices. Ignore him from now on. If you do not ignore him, he will fuel his gross ego with any attention from you. Don’t give him that power. Take it back for you! You deserve better than that.

You are too young for any kind of relationships with boys other than group activities with an adult leader in charge. You can change your life by becoming involved with a school or church or community activities (choose a comfortable and healthy environment). It will give you relief to serve others and help your pain.

Your responsibility is to find out who you are and to Define Yourself Before Others Do so you may make better choices in good guys. Do not date until you do that and that may mean when you are sixteen or older.

Become a leader in those activities and encourage other young girls to do the same. When other young girls see your good example (maybe even your sisters), they may be inspired by you and you may help save another girl who doesn’t want to live anymore!

For any girl in a severe crisis, please keep these Suicide Hotline numbers with you: 800-949-0057 / 800-448-3000


Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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