Saturday, June 28, 2014

Faces 11.18.13


Faces                      11.18.13

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,                                

Last night my husband and I went to a talent show where my daughter played the piano. She’s exceptionally talented and I’m not saying that because I’m her mom. She’s also very pretty and 12 years old.
She closes her eyes when she plays and she does make animated faces. She doesn’t realize that she does this. However, I overheard her really close friend and her mother laughing about the faces my daughter makes. Then another friend joined in the laughter ridiculing my daughter.

My husband went over and explained that he would appreciate it if they would not embarrass our daughter by laughing at her. They stopped but I can only imagine what else they do and say behind my daughter’s back.

My daughter has often had little riffs with her friend but now I am thinking it may be a bigger deal than this?

What do you think?

Signed,

Faces

Dear Faces,

As parents you were trying to “fix” an embarrassing situation and we applaud your love and care. However, if the friend is jealous and the mom isn’t mature enough to stop her own bad behavior, it could fuel the fire and elevate more bad behavior towards your daughter.

What can you do then?

First, don’t suppose that bullying or worse behavior is going on than intend but be aware.

Second, ask your daughter questions:

• How does your friend treat you … does she ever make fun of you?
• How does the mom treat you … is she caring towards you?
• How does your friend treat you when you are with other friends?
• Have you noticed anyone whispering about you behind your back?
Third, the BEST thing you can do for your daughter is help her leadership and Presentation Skills.

How?

• Have her join a club at school where there are opportunities for her to continue her talents
•  Teach her to sit up straight when playing the piano, open her eyes, smile and think inside of herself how much she enjoys playing for others and not only herself
• It takes 21 days to develop a good habit and start with six days of practice in a row
• Over twenty years ago, studies showed that a person has 20 seconds to give a good impress of themselves … now it is ONLY 8 seconds

You will help your daughter have courage, civility and confidence which are life skills that will help her stand up to jealousy or bullying her own self.

Congratulations for caring! Now start helping her to care about herself.

Signed,

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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