Saturday, June 28, 2014

Bullied Or Abused 11.25.13

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,                              

I used to be best friends with a girl I grew up with. Now we are in high school and she hangs around different friends that use drugs. I used to try to have lunch with her and her new friends.

She started teasing me for not using drugs and said to her friends that I didn’t know what I was missing in a mean way. She’s getting worse every day. I try to be friendly to her thinking that it will help but she doesn’t stop. She even shoved me the other day and just laughed at me when I looked surprised.

Is this bullying or abuse? How do I stop her?


Bullied or Abused?

Dear Bullied or Abused,

We applaud you for having a big heart and trying to stay friends, even when your friend has put herself in danger and bullied you.

You cannot help anyone else change. They alone must make their own decisions. We applaud you for not making the same damaging decisions.

Bullying and abuse both fall under the “maltreatment” umbrella. Her taunts are emotionally destructive to you. She is a verbal and physical bully and she is emotionally abusive to you. She is trying to suck your power away from you and trying to manipulate you to change.

Bullies are cowards who don’t have their own power so they steal it from others. Right now she is trying to fill up her own gas tank by sucking your power away from you. She is a power thief. She thinks that if she can fill up her tank by taking it away from others, she will win power over others.

For awhile she may be able to control some. However, she has not defined herself in a good, caring and loving manner. She may only destroy others with her stolen goods.

It does not seem that she will stop bullying you and actually her bullying may increase because she isn’t happy with her own changes (deep in her own heart). She wants someone who is decidedly good to fall and be miserable with her so she may justify her bad behavior.
GO TO AUTHORITIES. Go to your trusted school leaders, church leaders and parents now! Once she shoved you, it must be reported for your own safety.    

You have tried your best and we congratulate you for being a leader. You have refused to stay a victim and you evidently have defined yourself with many good values and internal talents like care, kindness and love.

We are sorry that you have lost a friend. You can only pray for her and let adults take it from here.

Thank you for helping to STOP BULLYING! Congratulations for taking back your own power ~ you need your own good fuel!


Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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