Saturday, June 28, 2014

Big Sissy 1.20.14

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

I have a little sister who is my step-sister. She’s six and I was in high school. I go to visit my dad on the weekends. My dad and my stepmom make her cry by saying really bad things to her and she runs and hides in the closet.

The last time I was there, I started counting how many times they were putting her down like: stupid, spoiled brat, idiot, useless, worthless, lazy, whore, jerk, bad little baby (because she was crying again), un- cool, and “you’re such a pain in the butt” but after 11 things I just stopped counting.

I went into her room and tried telling her how pretty she is and that I love her and not to listen to her parents because they don’t mean what they say. She just kept crying and shaking her head and saying, “No, I’m not” and I don’t know what to do? Should I call CPS? That’s what my mom told me to do?


Big Sissy

Dear Big Sissy,?How fortunate you are there to comfort her and build up her confidence. Your love is really important in helping her to feel like she is worth a lot! She’s a precious child of God! Thank you for being a part of the antidote. Bravo to you!

Your sister has been emotionally and verbally bullied which is no different than being hit by a fist except it’s a fist full of words and phrases! This type of abuse includes name calling, gossip, cruel rumoring (it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not), sexual innuendo, taunting and derogatory slurs.

Just like all bullying, it can leave lifelong effects of mental and even physical health problems such as depression, anxiety, food disorders, headaches, stomachaches and suicide tendencies. Suicide rates are epidemic now for teens.

You could be part of the solution to her possible lifelong suffering and the consequences that go with it.

However, since you have also experienced bullying at the hands of your father, please do not try to do it all on your own. Before you contact CPS (Child Protection Services), please ask your mom to go with you to her school and let them know what is happening and see if they can help her.

Be aware of the following Seven S’s to help heal yourself and your sister:?

        1. Seek help

        2. Safety first

        3. Secure environment

        4. Get Support

        5. Shameless are you

        6. Share feelings

        7. Stop Bullying (by saying, “Stop what you’re saying” and walk away)

 It’s wonderful that you have traveled the difficult but empowering journey of our Triangle-of-Triumph
(Victim to Survivor to Leader) learning to Define Yourself Before Others Do. Please keep it up so you may continue to be an example of overcoming challenges in this life and taking control of your own life.

You sound very mature!


Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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