Monday, October 15, 2018

Porn: Is it a Big Deal?

Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

My heart’s broken. I found my 12-year-old son watching violent, awful porn. I can’t believe he thinks this is all right.

He was brought up to be respectful, polite and a gentleman to girls.

This isn’t my first bad experience with porn. I caught my husband with specific celebrity porn and it nearly destroyed our marriage. He broke my trust and I couldn’t be intimate with him for a long time.

We went to therapy a few times. He said that was enough and he told me he wasn’t doing it anymore, but then I caught him with another video of her. He got mad that time and said it wasn’t a big deal.

I’m so depressed that my son is doing the same thing!

I took my son’s phone away as a consequence. He said that won’t stop him because everyone has porn on their phones, girls included. I feel like the dumbest mom on Earth. Is porn really okay with everyone now?


Porn is a big deal

Dear Mom,

We couldn’t agree more: pornography is a Big Deal. All porn is demeaning.

We’re sorry your guys are involved with it. Our society portrays porn as not being a big deal because it’s seen as a fake relationship and not reality, but you’re dealing with real emotions, feelings and difficulties, like the following:

• Real feelings of hurt that causes real emotional pain;
• Real anxiety and self-shaming because of a shattered sense of self-worth, trying to compete with the “perfect” image;
• Real consequences with the possibility of mental health issues;
• Real fear that you won’t be able to recapture real trust, comfort, and genuine love;
• Real loss of real relationships, because it’s too difficult to deal with compromise, acceptance, time, and energy issues.

Our new societal relationship norm is pessimistic and cynical about love in general, which tends to create less trust and interest in marriage and family.

The following statistics regard your son and his peer’s generation:

• 93 percent of boys and 63 percent of girls see porn before the age of 18;
• The first exposure to pornography among boys is 12 years old, on average;
• 31 percent of 14-to-17-year-olds own a Smartphone and easily access graphic hardcore pornography.


1.      Stop the “No Big Deal” porn mentality, with a support group in your community.
2.      Stop addictive porn that’s proven to change the brain and increase abusive relationships.
3.      Stop porn from invading our families and increase spiritual growth and healthy relationships.

Keep it REAL!

Rhonda and Dr. Cheri